Lise Menard Smith radiates pride when she talks about her son, Connor Tomlinson, one of the stars of the second season of the Netflix show Love on the Spectrum – US. His journey on the show, seeking love and navigating the complexities of dating, has captured the hearts of viewers, thanks to his endearing personality and the unwavering support of his family, especially his mother, Lise.
Lise’s journey to this moment had been a winding road filled with challenges and triumphs. Born and raised in Longmeadow, MA, Lise now lives in Atlanta with her husband of 10 years and four children (Connor’s two younger brothers and younger sister), but this story starts in Southborough, where she worked at The New England Center for Children (NECC). “I worked at NECC in 1996, just for a year,” she said. ” It was such a formative time for me, working in the preschool area teaching children with autism.”
Lise left NECC and Massachusetts when her husband was transferred to Miami, followed by moves to Texas, back to Massachusetts, and then to Georgia. Despite the short tenure, her experience working at NECC left a lasting impact on Lise, shaping her understanding of autism and how to support those affected by it. In South Florida, Lise continued working with children with autism through home-based therapy until they moved on to Texas, and she became a stay-at-home mother to Connor in 1999.
“At 18 months, I started noticing behaviors in Connor that concerned me,” she remembered. “By the time he was 2 years old, I knew something was different.”
Despite reassurances from doctors that Connor was fine, Lise persisted, driven by her instincts and her background working with children with autism. “I felt like no one was listening to me,” she said. “They told me that because he was looking at me and he had receptive language, that he was fine.”
Luckily, Lise’s experience at NECC gave her the tools to advocate for him. It wasn’t until Connor was five that he was officially diagnosed with autism. “I was at the pediatrician’s office in Georgia with my twins, and Connor was there doing his thing, talking to himself and walking on his tippy toes. I asked the doctor if that looked normal, and the doctor said no. Because of my background working at NECC, I had the experience to do some learning exercises with him, but I also knew he needed professional help.”
Once Connor started receiving the services he needed, he began to thrive. Fast-forward 20 years and Connor is a happy, funny, and kind adult, albeit a little lonely. “I had never thought about his romantic needs, I was so focused on him getting his high school diploma,” shared Lise. “The only date Connor ever had was to his senior prom, and it was his sister’s friend.”
Connor was a year out of high school when Netflix released Love on the Spectrum – Australia. “My first reaction was that someone was either exploiting or making fun of individuals with autism, but then I watched it and thought the show was great,” said Lise. “I had Connor watch it with me, and I asked him if he was lonely like the people on the show, and he said he was. It broke my heart.”
After Love on the Spectrum – US dropped its first season in May 2022, Lise thought perhaps she would reach out to one of the people on the show for advice on helping Connor. Meanwhile, her son, Jack, had sent the show’s director a message on X (formerly Twitter). In September, the director asked Jack for more photos of Connor, which led to Zoom meetings with show executives in Australia and Los Angeles. In January 2023, when the director paid them a visit at their home in Atlanta, they started to realize this opportunity was real. Two weeks later, Connor was added to the cast of the show’s second US season.
Since the show aired earlier this year, life has been a whirlwind for the family. Lise shared that the show has had a positive impact, sparking important conversations about autism and providing them a platform to advocate for autism acceptance. Connor, who has amassed quite the social media following that includes celebrities, and his family feel a strong responsibility to pay it forward. Lise shared that they are working on creating a foundation to support vocational opportunities for people with autism, helping them find fulfilling careers that match their skill sets.
“There are individuals on the spectrum with the capability to do more than just bag groceries,” she said. “We hope to create a foundation to give people on the spectrum more opportunity to be contributing members of society in ways that make them happy. We’re six months into this journey and learning as we go.”
Connor’s newfound fame has opened up new opportunities. He was the grand marshal for the State of Georgia’s Special Olympics event in May and is working on a campaign with Easter Seals. He will also be a keynote speaker at the upcoming Best Buddies national gala.
“Connor’s confidence and social skills have skyrocketed since the show aired,” Lise shared. “It’s cool for us that the world gets to see Connor and the great person we’ve always lived with.”
Meanwhile, Lise’s life has come full circle in many ways. “I’ve always orbited around people on the spectrum,” she reflected. “From my time at NECC to raising Connor, it’s like I was meant to be here.”
And though Lise eventually transitioned into sales, a field she thrived in for the past decade, she’s never forgotten her time at NECC. “The skills I gained at NECC—working with parents, families, and kids—have helped me succeed,” she noted. “Understanding human communication is key.”
Looking back, Lise wouldn’t trade any of her experiences for the world. “I was scared after Connor was diagnosed,” she admitted reluctantly. “But a friend told me, ‘Who better to be his mom than you?’ And she was right. We’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.”